The Good, the Bad, and the Wild

A client came to me saying she had a dream where her best friend was flirting with her boyfriend in a very provocative way and as she watched the scene unfold she felt strangely voyeuristic to it and turned on. And the more her man was turned on the greater she felt it amplified in her too. We talked about her own sex life, what she liked/didn't, whether she initiated, role played etc.

She had only had two boyfriends in her life and of late her current boyfriend had been showing signs of impotency. Whenever it happened he would say 'It's never happened to me before' and she would literally swallow that sentence down whole as if it were something personal to her own desirability and sexual energy. When I asked her why she took his comment in, she replied "well it must be me, he's getting bored by me, I'm not sure I've very good in bed - look at my dream he's sleeping with my best friend and I seem to be ok with that. I never feel that turned on, happily would rather read a book which is why the dream is so weird for me'.

We talked about her own early learning of sex and intimacy how when she was 14yrs old she'd felt a profound shift in her father's relationship with her, how he was awkward around hugging her, she could no longer sit on his lap watching TV, nothing was spoken about. Equally she felt her mother's disproval of some of the things she would wear to go out as if it were necessary to now hide her body in case it 'got her into trouble'. It's easy to see how parents who love their kids so much say things without the necessary feeling of why, mentioned behind it. If her mother had spoken of her own vulnerability around her daughter's safety it would have been far more acceptable to understand than a judgment call that did nothing great but shame her daughter's body. All this goes into the subconscious and starts to rule our lives unconsciously.

We have been working to find the 'wilder' woman side of my client - to see where expressions of the dream and her best friend's behaviour comes out in her too - or as we discovered, doesn't...or hasn't until we started the work together. The homework we set is about reclaiming that lost energetic, letting go of patterns In her family ancestry that had the woman suppress herself for fear of things 'getting out of control'.

For a woman to reclaim her power, her sexuality, her 'wild' not 'bad' side is key to her own self governance and personal growth. When she is forced to suppress this side of her many things can happen: illness; a desire to control many areas of her life and people around her; or to be ok with being controlled by others/ by her partner as if there is some illusionary 'safety' in that. A 'better they look after it' energetic. It is however key that a woman finds and owns her own wild nature - it's a journey she has to go on by herself either in relationship or outside of a relationship with another otherwise it gets projected onto their partners - they hold 'wild/feeling/spontaneity' and we hold 'control/reason/rigidity. The dance of relationship is can you both eventually find these parts within you both and within the relationship so there's a conscious decision on when/where/how these energies come out to play and don't get buried away or swallowed down.

At our last session we talked about the comment made by her boyfriend regarding his impotency never happening before. She told me it still happens at times, but that they have been able to talk about the stress he's under and that sharing has really helped the issue fall into the background as greater intimacy builds between them so love making builds too. She's learning to really feel into what and how she wants to show up in the world as a sexual, wild, all feeling woman and to stretch those muscles that were long term squashed way back in adolescence. She joked to me the other session that if ever she was with a man again she didn't know well who tried to push his impotency on her she'd respond with a soft kiss on his cheek 'Well just make sure it doesn't happen again otherwise I'm off to pastures new'.

Journal

KING MAKING AND THE INNER PATRIARCH

We are at any one time a mostly unconscious ecosystem of variable energetics and changing internal climates. My consultation room gives space for the expression, sometimes incarnation, often letting go with kindness and thanks to those energetics that have previously been driving us or are waiting to be birthed. Hindu spirituality talks of the true self or the higher self but to be honest there is no hierarchy - we are all colonies of self, selves and disparate forgotten parts that need re-membering literally back to our greater wholeness.

LET YOUR DESERT BLOOM

Happy Summer Solstice to all you beauties! A time of the planet tilting those of us in the North...

Time to rewire and rev up your inner witch

Women who dream of flying are connecting back to their innate desire to be free and connected to their birthright of the numinous. Supernatural flying women date back from prehistoric times when people postulated the radical divide between earth and sky. We created myths and rituals to bridge this separation, incense and fire to create smoke to connect the earth to the heavens and evoke spirit. Women have always flown to take refuge from the concretised captivity of earth's gravity and the mental plane that, when overly lived in, constrains and constricts.

The Ethereal News: CULTIVATING EROS - 'IT FEELS RIGHT TO ME'

“Beyond the superficial, the considered phrase, "It feels right to me," acknowledges the strengt...

Imagination is the only weapon in the war against Reality - Lewis Caroll

Did you know that In our heavens we mostly have to relate to masculine archetypes? Think of...

Cultivating our inner tribe

Governments and institutions need to come together to find common ground, to collaborate, to understand and empathise with, whether that's the government departments of your body, mind, heart, spirit and soul or external governments in the world right now....we need a new song for March....crank up some Sister Sledge and get kitchen dancing with your tribe....love of your inner world will save the day:

Learn + enjoy the process of becoming

'Please hold me during this time. My transition, my awakening is precious and sacred. Please move me slowly and lovingly into newness and allow me to stretch my wings and feel into new spaces within me without judgment or fear.'

Couples Work

But the discord is where the magic is, it’s where the friction is saying ‘notice this’, ‘deal with this’ ‘bring it to the forefront for your combined and individual growth.

The importance of dreaming

Here's a beautiful rounded example of what we mean in this world of 'working on ourselves' or doi...

Helping women to help themselves

Opening to Pandora's box

The spinning Wheel of Life and how to navigate it's highs and lows

useful stuff we don't learn at school We often think we are on a straight line trajectory - birth...

Some Information about Jane

Jane Kersel is recognised as one of the most distinguished embodied movement, yoga and consciousness teacher in London. She is a teacher’s teacher and was a much loved teacher at The Life Centre, Yoga Campus, The Bio-medical Trust + Triyoga (where she trail-blazed and invented their Hot yoga offering and the design of their studios). Now she works in her new vessel the Ethereal Gym teaching consciousness through the visceral body and private one to one and couples consultations sharing jungian analysis techniques and healing modalities.

My Philosophy and intention for all who study with me

to see life as a spiritual investment as much a material one - invest in love, harmony, inspiration, creativity, beauty
to commit to our own happiness - not waiting for someone else to sort things for us
to create rapture - channeling venus energy - to live as the dream of the lover and mystic
to let go of the patriarchal model and ask for the dream

Aphrodite

At that moment, the door to my studio opened as if a gust of wind had gotten behind it (this so often happens when working with spirit).

We both smiled, it was as if her lover had walked into the room there and then, his energy had arrived.

Move

In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions.....

The way to do is to be

There is no need to run outside.......

Being Mothered

But what if you, being a swan, had to pretend you were a mouse?...

Creating space

It’s important in our work together that we never over-ride these ‘primary’ parts - the parts of us that are out there in the world functioning and getting things done. However, without the understanding and integration of both of these polarities - the doing with the being, the feeling with the thinking etc

A useful perspective

360 degree health - mental, physical, emotional, physiological, spiritual, energetic To discove...

creating inner space

To observe and do shadow work, we need the experience of being centered in a higher self. That is why our spiritual practice is so pivotal. Without space inside our minds to observe forbidden feelings and behaviors, they take over. When they do, we feel controlled and overshadowed by them.